When Relationships Shift at the Threshold of Growth: Reflections from The Knowing Place
This reflection marks the beginning of a new conversation; one I call Rewoven™, about how we find strength and connection in the spaces where life has unraveled.
There’s a wisdom that deepens with time, the understanding that growth does not always move in harmony with those we love. It’s a lesson many of us learn the hard way, yet one that, if shared early, can soften the path for others.
As someone who has experienced the isolation that often follows the loss of a child through both death and child estrangement, I’ve come to understand how profoundly relationships can change. Loss rearranges the fabric of connection. People don’t always know how to stay close, and sometimes we withdraw to protect ourselves. Over time, I’ve learned that this distance doesn’t always mean love has disappeared; it often means hearts are still learning how to hold what’s too heavy to name.
This is why I believe in bringing women together across seasons of life, stories, and experience. We all carry both the elder and the youth within us: the part that knows and the part that is still learning. Too often, we assume we don’t understand one another when in truth, we do, because these human thresholds are universal.
During our most recent retreat, I was reminded how deeply those connections run. Each woman arrived carrying the unique threads of her own story, her hopes, her losses, her quiet strength. Yet, as we shared, we began to see that these threads were not separate at all. They wove together, creating a fabric of understanding that only emerges when people come together with open hearts.
By the end, we were not the same as when we began. We were Rewoven, strengthened by joy, grounded in resilience, and more in tune with our own inner wisdom. That awareness is a kind of medicine not just for ourselves, but for one another. When we listen deeply, something another person shares can become an insight we didn’t know we needed. In that way, the circle itself becomes healing a living reminder that we are not meant to do this work alone.
As we evolve, our relationships often ask to evolve with us. What once felt easy and predictable can suddenly feel strained or uncertain when one person begins to change, heal, or pursue something new. This can happen in any relationship between partners, friends, colleagues, or family members. What we often interpret as rejection, withdrawal, or criticism is sometimes a signal of deeper emotion, grief for what’s changing, envy for what feels out of reach, or fear of being left behind. Growth can stir these responses not because people are unkind, but because change touches something tender in all of us.
From a lens of wholeness and interconnection, we might say that when one person shifts, the entire field of relationship shifts with them. Energy seeks balance. Sometimes that balance shows up as resistance or discomfort, especially when the heart is still learning how to hold both love and change at once. In those moments, we can gently ask: What is mine to carry, and what belongs to another’s healing?
The invitation is to practice awareness and grace:
to notice what belongs to us and what does not,
to honor our own becoming without apology,
and to allow others the dignity of their own process, even if it’s uncomfortable.
Healthy connection doesn’t require sameness. It requires truth, boundaries, and compassion held in balance. When we meet change with curiosity instead of defense, we create space for deeper authenticity. The kind that can withstand seasons of growth, loss, and renewal.
Because at the heart of it, love in any form isn’t about holding on; it’s about allowing.
We keep showing up~
Heidi
About the Author
Heidi Simon, MSW, LICSW, CCTP, Master Certified Life Coach — With decades of experience in hospice care, trauma-informed therapy, and life coaching—and the lived experience of profound loss—Heidi brings both professional expertise and heartfelt presence to her work.